Imsane
by Thick Soup
Summary: What if Voldemort decided to take a sanity potion? ONESHOT, MIGHT BE CRACKFIC. New chapter posted due to boredom. Also to make up for hiatus.
1. PEWPEW

Welp

This is a one-shot story I wrote while brainstorming the next chapter of PoS.

Hope you like it.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT GIVE AN EVIL OVERLORD A SANITY POTION, CHANCES ARE SAID OVERLORD BECOMES MORE EFFIECIENT AT EVIL OVERLORDING

 ** _PEWPEW_**

"Severus," the Dark Lord Voldemort rasped, "is it ready?"

"Yes, my Lord." The greasy haired wizard handed over a smoking potion.

 _Gulp_

" **ARGGGGGGGGG!!!** "

"MAH LORDE" Bellatrix LeStrange rushed into the room upon hearing her beloved master's cry of agony.

"Are you okay, my Lord?" Snape inquired, studiously ignoring Bellatrix's threats of endless torture for hurting her king.

"...yes, yes." The Dark Tosser slowly stood up, holding his head and groaning. "God... I've done so many things wrong... "

"My Lord?" said both the death eaters in unison.

"Severus." The mentioned death eater stood up in attention. "Give Bellatrix the potion too."

Snape nodded. "Yes, my Lord." It seemed the potion worked. "Bellatrix, come with me." She did so without question.

"Oh, and, Severus? Get ready the ingredients for a class 1 mass necromantic ritual, and an traquilizer gun. It's high time I started rewarding my followers for their work."

"...Yes, my Lord." Definitely worked.

 ** _BOOP_**

The Boy-Who-Lived stepped into the deepest part of the Forbidden Forest. He took a deep breath. It was time. He threw away the Resurrection Stone. Stupid thing didn't work anyway.

 ** _Hiss_**

Harry Potter slumped to the ground with a traquilizer dart in his neck.

"Target down, retrieval squad 4, move in." A pair of death eaters wearing clear Pexiglass visors picked up the unconscious man and carried him off.

Lord Tom Marvolo Riddle grinned, and blew the barrel of the unloaded gun.

 ** _BEEP_**

Harry woke up in a white room.

"Wha..." He sat up, looked around and saw what looked like Voldemort, if he hadn't split his soul and was 71 years old, reading a book.

"Ah, you're awake." The stranger closed the novel. Harry absently noticed it was entitled Peter's Evil Overlord List.

"Hello, Harry, I am Tom Marvolo Riddle, and I am very sorry about The Dark Lord Voldemort trying to kill you." Harry sat there trying to process what he just said. "I have attempted to make amendments, and I have removed the Horcrux from your scar there." The old man gestured at said scar. "I have also revived your parents, and everyone else killed unnaturally and deserved a second chance. You're free to go wherever go, but if you stay around for a while, I have a deal for you."

Harry continued to be silent, so the reformed Voldemort continued, "I would like to name you successor for my empire."

Harry, then, finally found and hunted down his voice after 3 short paragraphs of staking it out. "Wait, what?!" Tom nodded. "Yup. And since you didn't protest with reason, you're officially successor, and cannot change it to anyone else, soooooooooooooooooooo... you're stuck here for a while."

"Wait what why???!!!" Harry screamed, in a last resort attempt to fix the situation.

"Cause I'm retiring from being the Lord of magical Britain's leading questionably criminal empire. Remember to give Lucius his 50 pounds of hair care products, Severus his potion research fund and your mother, and the rest whatever they want. By the way, I'm running for Minister, so could you 'help' a bit, if you get what I mean? Okay thanks. Also, your friends are outside the door waiting for you." Tom then whipped out his wand, and conjured a white auto opening double door. "Now if you'd excuse me, I have an appointment with my councillor, and a date with Bella after that."

 **Crack**

"HARRY!" A horde of redheads and one burunete streams through the door.

As the mother Weasley smothers the current head of the reformed Death Eaters, Hermione sensibly asked Harry, "What happened this time?"

Harry blinked. "I think VoldeTom just offered up my revived mother to Snape."

 ** _WOWTHISONESHOTISSHIT_**

"Mother," asked Delphini Tom Riddle, "how did Father become the Minister for Magic?"

"Well, Delphini," Bellatrix looked back, "it's a pretty ridiculous but short story..."

 ** _BLOOP_**

That's all, folks!

I'm pretty sure this is short enough for a one-shot.

I'm also pretty sure this can be considered a crack-fic.

I think this is a good note to end this on.


	2. Long Live the Emperor

Quick note, this is not a continuation of the first chapter. This is a rework, in which old Tommy decided to continue on with his quest for domination.

 **Line break**

"Is it done, Severus?" Severus Snape held out the milky white potion to Dark Lord Voldemort,terror of a small portion of Britain, respectfully. "Yes, my lord." Voldemort accepted the potion, and drank it.

Five minutes later, he put down the vial. "Severus, if it isn't too much trouble, brew enough of this potion for all the Death Eaters. Then force them to drink it. This includes you. After that, purchase a muggle gun factory, and purchase all necessary licences to tie up all loose ends we have in terms of legality. Also, get me some parchment and a pen. Yes, a muggle pen. Quills are troublesome. Actually, scratch that, I can do that myself. Get all Death Eaters to write down what they want the most after that. This also includes you. Tell them that they may write even things that they believe are no longer possible."

Severus bent his head in acknowledgment, and left the chamber. Looked like the potion worked.

 **Line break**

 _Three days later..._

A inconspicuous owl winged his way to Harry James Potter, a formal looking letter in his claws.

Harry took the letter, opened it, and started reading after ensuring the owl had food and water.

It read:

 _To Mr Harry James Potter,_

 _This is Tom Marvolo Riddle, also known as Tom Riddle Jr and the Dark Lord Voldemort, terror of wizarding Britain, and leader of the Death Eaters, previously known as the Knights of Walpurgis._

 _I am writing to offer you the privilege to be my heir, magically and in blood._

 _This is as you saved my life by providing me your blood, albeit unwillingly._

 _As such, I unwillingly offer you this once in a lifetime opportunity, for I, as an Evil Overlord, never forget my debts._

 _You may refuse, but I am obliged to inform you that the contact poison, developed by Unspeakables, on this letter, which I alone have the antidote to, will kill you in the next 2 weeks, if you decline._

 _I await your answer by owl. Write my birth name as the address. Magic shall take care of the rest._

 _Yours Sincerely,_

 _Tom Marvolo Riddle_

Harry paled, and got some parchment and a quill.

 **Line break**

A few days later, the wizarding world of Britain was invaded by the upper echelons of their society, wearing muggle Pexiglass visors and vests that repelled magic, much like the Weasley patented Shield clothes.

Those who tried to stop them by taking down their leader were taken down by sniper fire, and those who weren't met their end at the end of a Sig Sauer P226, with the Dark Lord himself at the other end.

Albus Dumbledore's original plan for taking down the Death Eaters, the Boy-Who-Lived, had defected to the other side, along with all of the Hogwarts students, from year 1-7.

The above mentioned Chief Warlock was took down by a bio-bomb, a weapon that attacked only living tissue, and ignored everything else. The last of the Resistance died with him.

Everyone else who did not resist survived with negligible losses.

The first thing Voldemort did upon taking over was to change his title to Overlord.

With the prophecy now void, he went on to conquer the rest of the Wizarding world, with Harry as his right-hand man.

Surprisingly, the world functioned better under the rule of a single organisation, than under many.

Especially since they had changed the term "muggleborn" and it's variants to "first generation pureblood".

The goblins and other magical creatures, including those considered 'good', surprisingly, had accepted the change with basically no resistance, except the few that had been sworn to loyalty, and even then those had given up after it was pointed out to them the people they were sworn to were dead, and thus all contracts were null and void. The contracts with conditions that binded them beyond death were neutralised by the order of the new king of the Wizarding World, with Magic assisting him, after which, the previously binded had happily stopped.

The goblins, the race that was most likely to object, saw no reason to. Besides, Voldemort was the mightiest general in history, and they liked him.

In the first fifty years, poverty in all forms was demolished in the Wizarding community.

In the next five years, all prejudice was gone.

In the course of five hundred years, world peace was established between the muggles and the wizards.

The Wizarding race flourished. The average wizard's life expectancy had been raised to one thousand years, and that was still rising.

The immortal Emperor had stepped down upon world peace,

but had continued to advise the current King, along side his equally immortal heir, and their respective spouses.

As Tom Marvolo Riddle, previously Overlord Voldemort, first King of the Wizarding Empire, immortal Emperor and adviser to the Throne snuggled next to his wife, Bellatrix Riddle nee Black, he thought about the things he accomplished, and his plan to protect the Earth from the growing Sun and move to other solar systems, he smiled, and for the first time in millennia, was content, for entirely chaste reasons.

He then looked to his side, into his wife's lusty eyes. Well, maybe not entirely chaste.

 **End**

This was fun to write.

~Thick Soup


End file.
